Our false image requires us to have a countenance of confidence and self assuredness which is an artificial cover for our deepest fear: we are not needed or wanted. Mother Teresa once said, “The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted.â€Â But to reveal this, even to ourselves, we believe would be an act of weakness.
The powerlessness of the ego is difficult to recognize because it is such a good actor. It offers relief but it secretly travels in pain. Unfortunately, the path of the ego is actually the way to inevitable torment and it always leads to the same conclusion. However, the denial by the ego is so strong and impenetrable we usually won’t believe the ego is leading us astray until the pain reaches intolerable levels. The collapse of financial institutions, the large industry leaders’ business failures are pushing people to new heights of pain. Relying on our artificial power and plotting strategies will not continue to work for us.
The ego has been running our lives so long, though, it is difficult to even discover it is not who we are. As we progress in the book, we will look at ways we can begin undoing the grip the ego holds on us, but for our purposes now, it is necessary we understand five things:
- The ego operates from fear.
- The ego has no internal self-worth.
- The ego needs external stimuli to validate itself.
- The ego lives in the past.
- The ego is not real
It is important to note the ego is not bad or evil. It is necessary in our lives, just as we need a body to navigate through life. We have many life skills and personalities traits which are arising out of our ego and they are a pleasant part of our life experience. But often times, our ego is more like a child because we first started developing it in childhood. And like a child, it sometimes needs the discipline of a wise and loving adult—your authentic self.
